I was recently interviewed by the Wall Street Journal for an article that focused on home owners who create pet memorials inside their home.

I find this topic refreshing because most articles rarely include end of life discussions with Feng Shui. From time to time I am asked by clients to help them find the best location for where to place pet ashes or human cremated ashes. In our practice this is not an unusual request. I find by the end of the consultation the client embodies a sense of ease and inner peace because the urn placement is done with clear intention vs from state of distress.

Please keep in mind there are various perspectives about how and where to place cremated ashes. What I share is based on my own personal experience (having been a pet owner for many years) and from the experiences of my clients.

To get started on this topic, a few years ago I wrote an article regarding where to place cremated human ashes which can also be applied to pet ashes. You can read the article by clicking on: FENG SHUI TIPS ON WHERE TO PLACE CREMATED ASHES

To elaborate on the Wall Street Journal article, I’ll begin by sharing my own story in how I chose to honor my deceased pet.

The image you see above was of my beloved dog, Skylar. I was blessed with him as a gift during my early college years. Skylar was with me through some really important stages of my life. Such as with the loss of my mother and grandmother, but also with some amazing new chapters. This including meeting my husband and traveling with me throughout the United States by car, boat and airplane.

When Skylar’s moment of transition arrived, it was heart wrenching. Yet, having gone through the conscious loss with two major human figures in my life (mom and grandma), it prepared me for the passing of Skylar which allowed me to grieve in a healthy way and also make sure his soul transitioned with ease.

This sharing goes beyond just placement of ashes but I feel it’s important to mention because it offers food for thought when grieving a heavy loss.

Letting Go…

When people read these two words “Letting go” it may feel very unsettling because the mind reacts and fires off thoughts of, I don't want to let go, I want to see them again, I want to be around them, hold them, etc.

Letting go in this context is about not grasping your pet’s soul with such desperation that they can’t transition. My initial teachings about this topic came from my mother, Carole Provenzale, and was further elaborated by a friend’s grandmother and reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead.

Its important to align your mind and heart as one because the wisdom of the heart will provide you with immense knowledge and guidance in what it really means to let go. To try and illustrate this concept of letting go I’ll share what I did before the moments of Skylar passing and how my mind and heart solidified this new reality.

During Skylar’s last day on earth I rushed him to the veterinarian hospital because he collapsed on the floor. I handed him over and the doctors and they recommended I go home and wait for their call to let me know if they could do anything to stabilize and bring him back to a healthy state, or to put him to sleep. I drove home extremely upset and once I arrived I retreated into my meditation room, laid on the floor and recited a prayer to the universe. I said, if it is time for Skylar to transition please make the message clear and i’ll help him transition. Within 30 minutes of that prayer I received a call from the nurse and sure enough Skylar’s body was dying.

I met my father at the veterinarian hospital and we both stood near Skylar, petting him gently. I leaned close to him, looking into his eyes and said out loud, “ Skylar, you are safe and surrounded by loved ones. Mom, grandma, our family and other pets are ready to greet and welcome you as you transition. I release your soul from this Earth plain so you can be free of any pain and suffering allowing your soul to live on. We love you so much, journey well my friend.”

Within seconds of reciting that prayer of release, Skylar gave one last conscious look and his eyes closed. In that moment I felt his release within my heart. That is the feeling of letting go, knowing he was no longer suffering, which translated as my father and I no longer suffering with immense anxiety and worry for his well-being.

What’s done is done.

Reciting the prayer of release was not easy, but it was necessary. I did a similar prayer for my mother and grandmother when they were in process of transition. I do not shun knowing that i’ll be called to do this again for other family members because it’s the cycle of life.

Skylar’s Story Continues….

After Skylar passed away I made the conscious choice that I would invite his soul into my bedroom to say one last good bye. As I prepared my bed for the evening, I purposely positioned a pillow he would sleep on near my head. As a laid on my bed and place my left arm around the pillow, I awaited his visit. I drifted off and felt the pressure of my bed shift, resembling the movements of him walking on the bed when he was alive. I stayed with that sensation and welcomed it and in my dream state I said, “Skylar!” and there he was, healthy looking.

Right away he spoke to me. He said, “you need to let me out”. I completely understood what that meant and in the dream I walked him to the back patio door (as I always did when he was alive). Before opening the patio door in my dream, I asked Skylar if I could pet him one last time and he said, “ of course”, in such a mature voice. After that, I opened the door and off he went.

When I awoke, I was like, wow! That was a huge moment of experiencing what it means to let go in a very conscious and peaceful way.

How has this EXPERIENCE helped me?

For me, this experience helped me consciously acknowledge Skylar was no longer living through a peaceful and loving engagement in letting him go. Today, when I think of Skylar, I smile vs feeling sad. He’s in my heart and in the hearts of those who knew him. This goes the same when I talk about my mother, grandmother or any other deceased family member whose memories are kept alive through story telling.

Perhaps this can be a point of inspiration to create a ceremony of your own, such as with an end-of-life ceremony where friends and family come together to honor those (pets and humans) who passed away.

where are the best locations to place pet Ashes inside a home?

Somes people who experience a new loss may decide to place their pet ashes inside their bedroom. It’s noted most interior designers and Feng Shui consultants (including myself) will advise against that because you don’t want to perpetuate the feeling and visual connection of excess grief.

But what happens if the person does not want to move pet ashes from their bedroom? When this happens, its recommended to balance excess yin (urn full of ashes/dead energy) with yang (life force/living energy). Normally, in Feng Shui it’s not recommended to have plants in the bedroom, however this would be a unique situation. The intended use of the plants would be to symbolize new beginnings for the pet’s soul, while at the same time neutralizing the excess yin energy. The amount of real plants could be one or two near the urn.

Placement of the pet ashes inside the bedroom is advised to be kept away from the bed. Overtime it’s strongly encouraged to move the pet ashes to another area of the home as to refresh the bedroom energy and truly reserve that room for deep rest.

I recently worked with a client in New York City who kept his pet ashes in the bedroom for 7 years. Upon entering into the bedroom his first question was, “should I move my dog’s ashes?” I responded, “yes!” We found a lovely shelf in the living room and his pet ashes have been relocated to sit along side a few deeply meaningful ancestral images and objects. We both agreed and felt this was a much better place for Jax to reside. The intentional relocation of his pet ashes helped shift the energy of the bedroom to feel brighter and uplifted. We even did a light space clearing ceremony to commence this new chapter of connection.

other rooms to consider for where to place pet ashes according to feng shui

• living room

• den

• library

• room dedicated for an altar

• indoor conservatory

When you relocate your pet ashes, you’ll want to make sure your pet’s memorial display does not look or feel depressed. This will most likely be a progressive adjustment. If you choose to keep pet ashes within your home, integrate them to be a happy addition vs keeping your sub-conscious mind attached to the memory of loss.

As shared, I’ve provided some key Feng Shui Suggestions about where to place cremated ashes in a past article. You can read additional insights in the Wall Street Journal article. As new insights and suggestions come about I’ll be sure to share.